do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
