Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
