My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
either way he was missing a nipple.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
