oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
