I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
