Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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