You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize