I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
They have beer where we have blood.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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