i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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