I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
