I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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