If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
