What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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