I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
