Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
