...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE