Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
