We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
