i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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