If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
