apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
What drink are we having for lunch?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
