So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
