the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
