Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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