My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I licked your asshole in confidence.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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