Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
