I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
