This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
