If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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