He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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