i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
