I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize