Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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