he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
