But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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