Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize