when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
