i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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