You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
