and next time when you feel me up, do it right
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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