I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize