how can u be prego again
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
