i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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