Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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