I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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