remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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