I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
