Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
