Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she looked like the before picture.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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