508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
