that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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