The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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