She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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