Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
