great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
