I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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