i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.