I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.