So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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