That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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