just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
