i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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