your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you traded sex for a burrito?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
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I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
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So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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