I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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